Clara was the most wonderful mother-in-law I could ever have hoped for. She accepted my relationship with Laura with her usual gentle calm, despite the fact that she probably would have preferred it had Laura stayed with Michael rather than hooking up with me. Clara was a warm and generous person who somehow always seemed able to strike a healthy balance between realism with optimism in her attitudes toward people and world events. She always made us welcome wherever and whenever Laura and I showed up. She was forever buying Laura and me gifts ranging from gorgeous silk scarves to anti-wrinkle cream. But there were many more important reasons why I adored Clara.
I loved the way she always treated her kids --as intelligent adults-- even when they were very young. Clara never hesitated to allow Laura and Nat to take advantage of opportunities to travel and to learn about the world. The idea of Laura’s mom allowing her to go traveling around Europe with her friends when she was in her early teens, always made me jealous because I never enjoyed those same freedoms as a kid.
I loved her passion for crossword puzzles and other games; in that respect, and in our shared love of Laura and the other members of her family, Clara and I were kindred spirits. Clara was never happier than when her kids and grandchildren were gathered together in the same place as she and Steve.
I loved her stalwart willingness to join Steve and her kids on their crazy adventures. I first met Clara when she and Steve came to visit Laura in the high Sierras during the summer of 1979, when Laura was working as my research assistant. We were introduced to one another at an elevation of about 10,000 feet, yet Clara and Steve then wandered off through the wildflowers, holding hands and heading up the slope to climb even higher. When we lived in the Bay area, Clara joined us on myriad tipsy sailboat rides back and forth across San Francisco Bay, despite the fact that she clearly wasn’t wild about the heeling and the spray. She did, however, have the good sense to stay home when Steve sailed to the Marquesa islands. In the last years before her death, her family dragged Clara to Borneo, the Virgin Islands, southern Costa Rica, Tiger Leaping Gorge in China, and finally to a remote island in the Philippines. She may not have liked all those trips, but she was always a terrific sport.
I loved her left-wing politics and her passionate belief that most wars are just terrible ideas, and that we should all just always try to treat one another decently.
I loved her excellent taste in fiction. Over the years she recommended many wonderful novels to Laura and me.
I loved Clara’s sense of humor. She had a wonderful laugh when she was really tickled by something, with her head thrown back much like Laura does today when she laughs.
Most of all I loved Clara for producing such a wonderful daughter who is so very much like her in so many respects. It is surely as plain to others as it is to me how much Laura resembles Clara. Not only does Laura laugh like Clara did, but she also uses the same patterns of speech, she clears her throat the same way Clara always did, she laughs at the same things that amused Clara, she enjoys the same movies Clara did, and she loves me as completely as Clara loved Steve. Like Clara was with Steve, Laura is willing to forgive me pretty much anything. When I first met Clara in the Sierras, I remember thinking how lucky Laura was that she would look exactly like that 25 years later! And lo and behold, Laura DOES look just like that today—as beautiful now as Clara was then! I hope to continue seeing Clara’s traits in Laura for many years to come, and to enjoying and loving Clara’s legacy forever.
